Photos of Me

I am fortunate enough to have a friend who is a photographer. That means when we hang out if I want my picture taken she is happy to take my picture. Even happy to arrange a photo shoot. I consider this to be something of a graduation photo shoot. I’m graduating from being sick to being well.

We went up to Mt Tabor with a little yellow umbrella I brought. I feel so in the now having these pictures. I am not me of ten years ago or five years ago. This is me now. What I look like, how I feel, the whole package. No misplaced sense of my self. No image of me in my head that is years out of date. Just me in the now.

Here are the pictures she took.

She edits and adds as she edits. My new user icon is from the set and here’s a preview of one of many fantastic images she captured.
Me by Karen

This is her web site. I don’t know how much time she has for her freelance photo work but if you live in Portland and need photos taken you should consider sending her a note via her site. She’s still underselling herself and her work is amazing.

Emotional Roller Coaster of Healing

Up and down, up and down. Healing after a major surgery is an emotional roller coaster. One day I feel bad but I cling to optimism. Another day I feel bad and I mope. A different day I am happy and feel healthy. Then there are days when no matter what I feel like physically I feel trapped by the things I can’t do. It’s oddly the worst on days when I feel well because any activity beyond the basics reminds me I am still on the mend.

Just to be clear, I am happy, optimistic, grateful, blessed, and healing quickly. I also feel whiny.

I want to hop in my car and DRIVE. Remember how I used to do spontaneous road trips? I want to do that again. I don’t want to wait six months. I want to do it NOW.

I want to fill my calendar and DO STUFF. Yesterday I filled up my calendar with “potential” things and it was exhausting and I didn’t even make it to music or crafts. There are dance performances, theater, book lectures, book clubs, coding meetups, events all over town I want to attend.

I want to do stuff with PEOPLE. Not just people who have cars and are amazing and will come get me on a strange day and take me to Zell’s for lunch. Definitely those people but also harder to get to people. People who live further out or have bad transportation. People who are interesting but you have to wrangle out of their introverted dens. People who can’t make plans but can be kidnapped for road trips at a moment’s notice. All my people. OK, maybe Donna is right, maybe I could be an extrovert.

I want to go hiking in the woods. I want to rearrange my bedroom. Again. I want to pick up heavy boxes and not have this weird pressure pain in my head. I want to do some crafts that involve hot wax or a soldering kit and could lead to horrible burns if I’m not in top form. I want to cook every other night like I used to. I want my husband to look less tired.

I want to be done with this and do the things I love. And optimism can go jump in a well, I want it NOW.

Signed, cabin fever mixed with soppy gratitude to Allen & Laura for coming to take me outside today.


Last night I was laying on my left side (which is every night because laying on my surgery side is achy) and Isaiah said something and I heard him. Actually heard him and clearly which with Isaiah is a miracle as he’s from Maine. It’s still foggy through that ear, muted, less than left but hey! I had an improvement! A noticeable improvement.

Clearer mind is something I’ve had since the start. The post-surgery deafness is nearly gone. My balance is also much improved. Any autophony I experience is heartbeat when exercising too much and a little bit of my own voice (I only know this because I can compare left and right ear sounds. Dizziness is fading as well and my suture is pretty much healed.

It’s like the other day’s depression was a hill I just had to make it over to get to a beautiful sunny field.

To moderate the happy it’s important to note that I am horribly out of shape and every exercise I perform or therapy I undergo will make my symptoms temporarily worse but let’s all ignore that for now.

Progress has been made. Go Dr Wackym! Good surgery, high five!

Thank You Roll Call

Glory brought me a tray for eating in bed with as well as a super comfy pare of stretchy pants. Mayling brought me the most beautiful little herb garden in a pot with thyme, sage and rosemary. Then Glory and Mayling took me out to lunch at Zell’s Cafe. It was fantastic and amazing and I needed a really big nap after.

Sometimes it seems like the happier the day the bigger the resulting nap.

Mom and stepDad came over for dinner and we had wonderful food to go from Cha Cha Cha. I was super tired.

Now that I’m all full of food though I don’t feel as much like napping. I’ve already slept a lot today. So I’m super tired and head achy and awake.

Not really focussed either.

I got a beautiful necklace from Edie, my mother-in-law. And a wreath and wild blueberry jam.

And Staci thought of me. And yesterday was wonderful with Pope and Molly and the Wilson family fantastic. Oooh and Kirsten R and her delicious devilled eggs. Did I already write thanks for that?

Not tracking well. Love and gratitude to all.

Thank You Roll Call

My gratitude has been quiet lately but it’s time to call out to some really awesome people.

Thank you to Kelli for sending me coloring books and a new set of coloring pencils. I had forgotten how relaxing coloring is.

Thank you to Mom for all her understanding.

Thank you to Savannah for always being uplifting.

Thank you to Molly for being my surgery buddy.

And thank you so much to Isaiah’s Mom, Edie, for sending this card:
beautiful card

Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful. -Annette Funicello

Thank You Roll Call

Thank you to my fabulous coworkers especially the ones who are half way between “we can do this without you” and “what are we going to do without you?”

Thank you to new friends and old.

Thank you to my mom, husband, and just everybody in my family. I am so fortunate to have you all.

Thank you to all the medical people who are helping me move towards health.

Dizzy but thankful.