Anchoring from Adrift

There’s something about changing from illness to wellness that is a surprisingly difficult switch. Not only is it a gradual shift rather than a sudden one but there’s also defining what wellness means.

Wellness to me means hiking and kayaking and taking long walks and dancing without getting out of breath (well past without getting horrible headaches or vertigo). It also means using my brain and crafting with my hands.

I joined a gym today. If anything should get me back to an active state having a gym membership will do it. I’ve done gym memberships before and they work surprisingly well for me.

Reading is part of using my brain but I think I want to start doing high school style reports on what I read. Maybe it’s time to start using Good Reads as much as friends who really use it the way it can be used.

Crafting is Isaiah’s socks, my shawl and hopefully soon some quilts.

The Gettysburg Address

I have never been great at memorizing things but I like the idea of learning the Gettysburg Address.

Learn more here.

The Gettysburg Address
November 19, 1863

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate—we cannot consecrate—we cannot hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they here gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Life Continues

We got a new cat, Michael Symon Pegg, who is two years old and a good companion for our “kitten” Pirate who was not doing well with being an only cat.

I’m attempting to join a gym. They want sign off from my surgeon that it is ok for me to begin exercising. A few phone calls, a few hoops to jump through, probably some forms, hopefully some good end results.

Set some goals to write regularly again, exercise, eat well, etc.  Will work on that.

 

This Weekend

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Humane Society

…..

I don’t really feel like talking too much right now but a few people have asked what happened. Linus has been dealing with diabetes for two years, issues with his digestive track for about a year, and lately been plagued by pain, complications of his two issues combined, and something the vet was unable to pin down. I had to make a choice and I chose to let him sleep.

Somewhere Between

Brain dead and discovering the meaning of life.

So far the meaning of life appears to be leaning in the direction of sustaining life, creating more life, enjoying life, and improving life. Sustaining and improving life oddly enough involves population control, aka death.

Meanwhile it’s a nice sunny spring day and I am waiting for my husband to wake up and go for a walk with me. I love our rambles.

Just Do _

I know that “just do it” is a popular phrase in spite of (or because of) the vagary of “it.”

Maybe I am being effected by the various challenges of my life but I’m also annoyed by “just” these days.  Take this doc for installing Composer on your computer. I am annoyed by “just download the executable.” Give me the verbose version from the same site please. I prefer more words and less reassurance of “ease.”

Modifying Yoga [modified]

Twenty years ago I started practicing yoga by choosing a routine from the back of Youth, Yoga and Reincarnation (a book I never finished reading but oh the appendix is worth the $1.50 used price). Over time I’ve modified that basic yoga routine to suit me. I took other yoga classes, studied dance in various forms, learned about muscles and stretching and what my body in particular needed. I now have a modest little yoga drill that works for me. When I do the exercises I go at a pace that works for me. (A very  very yin pace.) I try to associate breathing in and out with the up and down of the motion and generally at my weakest will repeat three times or hold for three breaths.

I haven’t done yoga in over two years. Health issues blah blah blah. On Tuesday I asked my vestibular rehabilitation therapist (aka balance therapist) how long she expected I would need to do my balance exercises. She said that ideally I would do them for the rest of my life, once a day. This was momentarily crushing. It felt like she was saying I would never be healthy or “normal” again. Not that I ever was normal, not that any of us really have met normal, not that the normal in my head is the normal that exists on average. Normal bah!

After a day of digesting this news I decided to start doing yoga again. For me it is a gentle daily exercise that I already had a habit around before I started experiencing all the things that led to brain surgery.  I realized I could modify it to include my balance exercises. That way these exercises are just part of what I do, not something I do because I had a hole in my head (SCDS).

My balance exercises are divided into three parts for me: sitting, standing, standing ankle thing.

Sitting: Sitting with good posture, thumbs become the focal point. Hold thumbs about 10″ from face, each one in front of a shoulder. Look thumb to thumb holding on each thumb for three seconds, moving slowly with eyes between thumbs. Move thumbs to about forehead and heart height and look thumb to thumb again. Shift out to shoulder height again, one up, one down and look thumb to thumb. Shift which is high and which is low, look thumb to thumb. Change to holding one thumb in front of face, this time moving head/vision left right, up down, diagonally both ways. Then change to holding head still and moving thumb while following thumb with eyes (left right, up down, diagonally both ways).  Feel very bored but also headachy and tired.

Standing: Standing with good posture, first time through with feet shoulder width apart, second time through with feet together, third time through with feet shoulder width apart and eyes closed (third time is an advanced exercise lately added.) Move head up and down, side to side, top corner to bottom corner (both sides), focusing on what is visible when eyes are open.

Standing Ankle Thing: Standing with feet shoulder width apart lean forward and back only bending at the ankles. Remain very very aware of feet and ankles.

[modification] I plan to do Standing Ankle Thing  before Chest Expander, Standing after The Stork right before Neck Rolls, Sitting will go where Eye Exercises currently is in addition to those mild yoga eye exercises. [end modification]

I’m also generally modifying my yoga again. Definitely no inversions.

These are the pages I created ten years ago with the complete list of modified yoga from which to pick and choose. I’ll need to make a new entry with modified yoga and balance exercises as described above.

Page one yoga
Page two yoga

Swimmingly

I went lap swimming at Dishman Pool for the first time tonight. Everyone there treated me very nicely for all that I felt very shy tonight.

Best part? I seem to be better able to swim in straight lines now!

I still don’t know what to attribute to the surgery but straight lines!