Ever bang one side of your head against something sharp? Or get cuffed on one side of the head? Where your ears ring and there’s a sharp pain and you feel sick to your stomach?
Every little noise makes my head feel like that riht now. Even the sound of the typing. Even the sound of Isaiah opening envelopes to pay bills. EVERY noise.
And I feel like this all the time. To degrees of bad and not so bad. Today is bad. Came home early from work. Slept a bit.
Why am I typing? I can’t lay in bed forever. I’m dying of boredom. DYING of Boredom.
Ok, typing too much. Ow ow ow.
Post Script: and the sound of my feet when they touch down on the floor, or when my skin brushes up against something, or the creak of my vertabrae when I move my neck or the ever so subtle sound of my eyelids popping when I blink, or the sound of the cat scratching her ear in the other room, or the hum of a computer or game console or the click of that little button on my iPhone – why isn’t there a way to navigate without clicking? Or the sound of a pencil or pen scratching paper or pages turning, or even my fingers tapping the glass on my iPhone like tiny tymphonies. I cannot escape the noise. The noise is inside me. It even follows me into my sleep. Oh and cars driving past or the flash of bicycle lights which feel like sound or the chirp of birds or the woosh of wind. My pulse. Oh god my pulse. There’s no escaping my pulse. No wonder before they figured out this was all about a #mm hole in the inner ear that people were thought to be schizophrenic.